I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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