i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
