cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
