he puts the penis in happiness.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
