How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Nicole vs. Life
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dick very happy bro
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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