Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
