Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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