I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
When are your genitals available?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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