bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
