We're like a lot better than the average bears
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
