I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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