Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Boobs speak an international language.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize