hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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