I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
