i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
