i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
