For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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