If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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