Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
