I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
