I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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