dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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