There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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