love makes seman taste better
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize