when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
