i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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