One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
