at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
