just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
