i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
