I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
