tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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