Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
