I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize