Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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