Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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