Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
