Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
