His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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