saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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