Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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