Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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