Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
