Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i can't believe i had my finger in that
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
