Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
