I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
