did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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