but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
