Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he fucked my hip out of place.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
