im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hippo gnu deer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
