We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
