How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
