so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
