i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
