I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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