is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
