Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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