So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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