My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
nutella sex= disaster
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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