tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
