Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think your dad took our porno
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
