Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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